Also, I will be having three MAJOR medical appointments tomorrow so I may be wiped for a while. I also had a major seizure and my heart stopped for a while but it is going now, so that was really painful (and radiating under my shoulder blades) but I am still here. Ha! But I may have to respond to comments a little slower. As my hands don't work so well, or parts of my body and I was paralyzed for a while.
Linda has set up a paypal account in secret and activated it today, if you send me an email marked paypal, then I will forward it to her (without reading it) or you can send her an email directly to linda.mcclung at shaw.ca and she will give you the directions. She doesn’t know how to do the button thing yet. I don’t do finances. So I work on the sending out postcards and she deals with the managing how to pay for oxygen concentrators and stuff like that. So, want a postcard – email me at mpshiel at hotmail.com; want to talk to Linda about oxygen concentrators or getting me to see a neurologist, email her. This weekend I worked on a goth postcard and while it doesn’t tell a story like “Don’t be a graverobber”, I thought it was a pretty cool collection and one of the better goth cards, so here it is:
I can’t really do the deep thinking because a) four fingers have frostbite, b) I had a seizure so it is like someone took an electric eggbeater and stuck it in my head – ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! Suddenly thoughts don’t form up so well. And c) um…..see b on why I can’t remember c. So here instead is the Hoh Rainforest, after the SPLAT, when I was feeding the red squirrels.
First we have the first Frisky squirrel and his hyperactive brother going by with a pine cone.
Which would be remarkable if there were not several thousand pine cones on the ground within vision, never the less he had a “Ho, ho, ho, me so smart, it all mine!” attitude as we and his slightly smarter teenage brother watched him scamper past.Then you have the actual domestication of the squirrel.
Yes, I know that Frisky is a wild animal and will probably due to my behavior of training it to feed, later leap upon some child and eat their eyes. But hey, it is FUN, and I like to do it (this world is all about me, okay!). Also you get an idea of how big (or not) this little guy is, literally as long as my finger.And finally, having gotten his fresh roll, Frisky finishes the day doing what squirrels do best, gorging themselves.
They seem to like eating, and I seem to like to feed them so that is a good match. Sorry nothing deeper, once I have a brain that doesn’t look like an omelet, I am sure something thoughtful will arise.
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18 comments:
I love what you did with the goth postcard! It's beautiful. I love the one you sent me too, with the dancing skeleton and the tree stamp and the arch stamp. Thank you for sending postcards to so many people. I am sure it is good for the soul of the world.
I hope that the fact that you're talking about sending out things from Australia means maybe my package of stickers arrived safely.
I love what you are doing, and I love the things you write, and I love the fact that people's lives can be and feel more worthwhile because of what you, Elizabeth, do.
Thea :)
The squirrels were fun and so little. We definitely had the smarter brother hanging out with us.
I am hoping the seizures and the specialists appointments don't take all your strength. Please rest as much as you can, keep drinking the gatorade so you don't dehydrate and be careful of those fingers. Wear the long fingered gloves.
You will be in my thoughts all day and if those thoughts can transmit strength, then you have it.
My dear Squirrel Queen, thank you for letting us know how to get the paypal information. That makes my morning!
I hope your appointments today have not been too stressful, and that they result in good things for you.
Adorable wee thing. Frisky, not you. Well, I'm sure you're adorable, too (??), but not wee.
I shouldn't post comments before I've woken up, should I?
Good luck with the appointments.
That grass looks nice and soft--I know now you can feel grass under your wheels! What cute little squirrel tummies. The ones near us aren't that cute or friendly, though they enjoy rummaging through our attic and tormenting dogs.
Thanks for the email addy, setting up paypal so we can help as we can.
Loved the squirrel pics... and the fact that you're still able to blog, I mean after a seizure and heart stoppage!
Hope all goes OK today with your medical appointments. Thinking about you as always.
Love & peace.
SQUIRREL POST SQUIRREL POST SQUIRREL POST!!!
I prefer the black squirrels, but the teeny little red fellow is so precious.
My postcard was not a Goth one but it had the raven stamp on it since it was animal themed, and I love that raven very much! Crows and ravens are among my favorites.
Maybe I do have a little Goth in me, somewhere deep beneath the surface...
I'm glad you are allowing us to help. I'll try borrowing the boyfriend's internet tonight after work to use Paypal. I'm not real experienced with it myself, but I get paypal payments from Canada for my freelance stuff, so I know it works across the border.
Sad that the ebay guy seems to be a scammer :( I had high hopes.
Ah well like I said before if you can get a private shrine maiden dance you can get an out of stock backpack... I hope!
The postcard is fabulous, the forest is fabulous, the squirrels are fabulous, you and Linda and Cheryl are fabulous.
Rest now.
There's a letter and small surprise winging its way to you. Maybe you can use the surprise to tame rowdy postcards or stickers.
Wishing you continued stamina and endurance as well as few seizures and little pain.
That sucks about the back pack. Hope someone can track one down for you.
It tricky isn't it about goals ... if you have goals you haven't achieved you can feel it's so far away. If you've done your goals it's like - oh what next?
No answers just lending another ear to listen.
Speaking for myself I'd like you to have those moments when you love getting cards and gifts still. I don't mind one bit if you forget a minute later, or if you never know who I am. If it helps I can send it anonymously ;o) But they may freak you out even more!
PS: No answer needed to this comment
Good luck with your medical appointments. I hope it helps just a ilttle to know that many people in blogland are thinking of you and pulling for you.
Wonderful photos! I love red squirrels and also chipmunks. Is it only the chipmunks that make the sharp chirping sound or did you hear these fellows sound off? It's quite the staccato song.
You know, you apologize for the post not being deep, but even when you've got the buzzed brain, you are clear and super funny. But still, I am sorry you're in a horrible haze because of seizures.
Take care post medicos.
I love the goth card, Beth. And the Kiwi stamp is cool too. On a scale of good to bad, the card definitely rates as good.
But as Cheryl said yesterday, we're in no hurry to get to the end, and hearts stopping are, on a scale of good to bad, bad. Please try to remember not to let your heart stop?
As depressing and heart wrenching as your posts sometimes are, they are incredibly valuable for some researcher out there who needs/wants to know what it's like from the patient's point of view, so we'll appreciate whatever you can post. Beth junkies R us!
The squirrels make the cute-tracking meter go off the scale. but they're just squirrels; it's your description that makes the story so marvellous.
You may "only" write words, dear Beth, but the words you write are so well used. That's worth hanging on to for now. Despite the Swiss cheese omelet brain.
Thanks for mentioning the paypal possibilities. It please you to write; it pleases some of us to want to try to ease the financial stress for you.
Many hugs and much love,
Neil
I love the little baby squirrel! Also, I want one. I promise to feed it every day!
Thanks for looking after us with ebay scammer guy. It's good to have someone clever and level-headed looking out for us.
I hope the medical stuff is going well.
Squirrel whispering is deep! Love the pictures - thank you Beth. Hope the medical appointments went OK. I actually have the whole week off from medical appointments - such luxury. Dennis was surprised when I pointed that out to him last night. I am thinking of you - hope you are not too worn out. Hope these appointments lead to some treatment for you.
Love, Sharon
Thea: I got something from you, and it went out on other postcards, many postcards. It was very useful, thank you! I actually sent you another one - it was one of the 10% the US post sent back - I hope they continue and deliver it as promised. So this week maybe.
I think thanks to you my cards and thus people's enjoyment are greater. With the amount of people now sending in cards and stickers, I am merely the um conductor in this orchestra, I cannot claim full credit as while I have a few people help me with hand stuff, other people from around the world have contributed cards which I immediately press into service. We are one.
Cheryl: Yeah, the smarter brother indeed, burying pine cones UNDER a pine tree is not a bright bulb idea.
It was a hell day in a lot of ways, particularly since my pain specialist sounds like yours "Learn to live with and WITHIN the pain!" (Are you aware I have a DEGENERATIVE CONDITION?).
Well, it is over, and after this I sleep and hope I wake up in less pain, since I can only see out of one eye (why didn't I buy those eye patches) I am guessing I am pretty tired. Part pain and part not sleeping last night from pain which is why the pain specialist saying I should try Lyrica and no other higher drugs did not impress me.
Yanub: Really, thank you then. I don't deal with that Linda does but I know she is pretty haggard, today we found out that a) the oxygen concentrator has been approved (horaay!), which means I can travel in my wheelchair without needing to worry about running out, I can use it with batteries if the building electricity goes out. The bad news is what blue cross approved is about $1000 less than the concentrator. So the letter sort of sat there like a dead fish. We couldn't decide if this was good news or bad, to be so close to freedom to go outside without having to fear running out but they don't take disney dollars nor Canadian Tire money, darn it!
The specialist were sort of a ping-pong, I was determined not to have arthritis, which I didn't think anyone including my doctor thought I had, however, that is ALL she treats, so my GP has NOT been treating the Anemia on the basis that the Rhumatologist would treat it, has NOT been treating the rampant autoimmune reactions and disease - and now the Rhumatologist is like, "Hey, I can tell you that you don't have Lupus." I almost screamed, "I KNOW I don't have lupus, I knew that before I came here, what I do have is an untreated autoimmune disease, an untreated progressive axonic peripheral neurophathy, an autonomic failure including heart, lungs, etc and anemia to name a few" (Beths way to win friends and influence people.) - at another junction she said, about my secondary renauds that they call when it shows up on the forearm "flaring" or some other term - I guess a Canada Lupus term. I said great! What do you call it when it goes all the way to the shoulder, and showed her how it was already up to my bicep on one arm. She kind of recoiled in horror and said, "That's not possible" - I said, "It is not only possible, it is frequent, we just use it as a sort of thermometer of when Beth is likely to pass out or have heart problems but you had a name for it on the forearm, so I hoped you knew about this?" There was an emphatic NO. Alas!
Lene: Thanks, and he was pretty adorable with his four legs and hopping together - hop, hop, hop across the grass.....as I teach him how to eat the eyeballs of children!
Frida: I am sorry that you have the evil inbred type of squirrels - I just seem to have the fun kind, and since I had never seen a red one before, I was happy to see this one.
Linda said she is going to get back to everyone who has written TODAY as now she too has a webpage (apparently, I don't know where it is but I think it is called, "A girl's gotta fly!" Where I think she will put updates of how we are progressing on getting equipment and such.
Kate J: Yeah, I actually had frostbite on several of the fingers and could only use one hand but the blog rolls on - haha. I feel a debt, as it were, to all the people who come and choose to spend time reading here, I want to honor that and while my writing is not always the best, I want it to be here - I promised an exciting ride of how Elizabeth deals with terminal illness (or non-terminal illness where you just accidentally die?). And that's what I am trying to give. Thanks for reading. And for sending postcards!
Veralidaine: I love the dark sable black squirrels but this guy was pretty darn cute. Much better than the three stooges variety of grey I get around here who run around and then bonk themselves on the head hitting a tree and the like.
I am glad you liked the raven stamp and if the backpack is to be, it will be, I will keep looking and as the saying goes "The bird with OCD gets the worm" - or something like that.
Dawn: Well, I don't know what I have winging to you - oh yes I do, I hope you are back at N.O as it is worth checking your mailbox! Postcard only but very much with you and only, only you in mind!
This surprise sounds fun, and kind of kinky - will the postperson even deliver it?
RachelCreative: yeah, tell me about it - oh I think your twitter friends should have been getting thier postcards now - and maybe there is something coming postcardish for you? Maybe, oh yes, that one I remember - I remember emotions.
True enough about goals, either I am working towards one, or I am sitting there wondering what to do. Need to work towards one. I did 32 postcards this week, just want to say that as I was surprised, it brings the 5 week total to 163 cards I think.
Oh I don't forget a minute later - it is more like a day later! So every day is a new package day, as it were!
I like talking to you - I even talked about you a lot in the Hoh, I would say to people, "I have this friend," I would say to people with a tripod and a camera like you have with the big negative, "And she has that and 15 other cameras besides. She really likes her cameras! I think she would like being here!"
Donimo: Thanks, it does help, the appointments were a bust but at least know I don't have the fear anymore, I have the letdown instead of the hope but that is the way it is after the white coats - they mess with your head and then you have to try and let that go over the next couple days.
I actually have a picture OF a chipmunk I will put up later, it was sitting in a hollow Linda could see and she took a picture - the young squirrels were hooting and making giant clacking noises to find each other - obviously not a lot of eagles around.
Thanks, I try, I am trying to bring back some humor.
Neil: That is a pretty small scale and if you start rating them BAD then I am not going to put them on your scale. I am glad this one got a good.
It actually turns out that heart stopping is REALLY painful and makes it hard to breathe, and your fingers turn funny colors. I know people know that from TV but when it happens it really is quite different becuase you KNOW! Which is, in my case accompanied by bulging eyes.
Well really they make up the story or rather I do, I just seem to get on okay with animals and understand what they are saying, or not, or maybe I am just REALLY delusional and will have a giant overcoat and talk to myself and the pigeons in the park.
Thanks, if Linda hasn't said it already, I do wish I could be a genuinely nice person and give everything to burma or something like that but I WANT to breath! I want to find a neurologist who will give me treatment and painkillers so I am not in agony so much of the time. I guess that makes me a human instead of a really nice human - darn!
Abi: Me too - he is so cute! You can buy a chipmunk in the pet stores in the UK - but you need a really big cage, I used to go to one store to watch them (also you might have problems sleeping as they are slightly hyperactive!).
Yeah, bummer about the scammer guy, but I just wanted to make sure someone's kindness didn't turn on them, and if anyone has ordered one, make the paypal claim to get the money back, is what I recommend (becuase he has to show he can produce it so either the backpack or your money back!)
Sharon: Yes, I didn't even know I was sending out vibes but here they came. Having a week off, totally off from medicos to get your head together, to plan things, to decide, "I'll start this today, do it tomorrow and have it finished by weekend" is an amazing luxury! I hope it goes really well.
Bad news, no treatment, the good news is....um.....I really need to go to that neurologist in the US? Anyway, off to bed for me, back in a couple hours, thanks for all the support! I will try to take care, no seizures and complete sentences tonight!
Aww, geez! I'm sorry to hear your docs weren't helpful. :(
They seem unlikely to help until the have the almighty DIAGNOSIS. But really, how often are those wrong, anyway?!
And I totally understand about needing to rest after appointments; I find them exhausting, both physically and emotionally.
Love the squirrel pictures. I've always been enthralled with how they run so fluidly, seeming to barely touch the ground as they dash along to their treasures/tree/whatever. And to run up a tree and dart down the branches! What a view! Now, I envy the ease of mobility, too!
Lisa: Oddly both of them HAD the diagnosis, my GP gave them a definative diagnosis of MSA but they didn't seem to want to know what it was, the Rhumatologist didn't know what SMA was (Spinal Muscular Atrophy) either. So they were good with thier inch, I recognized from three statements the pain doctor made were from the Fibro website, so I think he was more used to fibro and other chronic neuropathic pain and not neuro and muscular pain degeneration. Oh well, we tried, and we move on. Thanks for the encouragement, I believe we will find someone, just right now it is like, sigh.
Yeah, the problem is no matter how much I talk myself up, the "white coats" can always get inside my head, spin me around and I see the world as they see me, in thier 20-30 minutes until I am depressed or wanting to scream. It is like it takes time to decompress. Plus we had a two week event monitor at ANOTHER hospital so from 9:00-4:00 it was striaght going. OW!
Yeah, the way those squirrels move is so cute, I wish I could bounce along like that, and then put my head up to check where I was and bounce some more - that is why watching the squirrels swing through the moss was like - oh they SUCH teenagers!
I am indeed back in NO. I'll be looking for it.
No, unfortunately your gift isn't kinky. Maybe next time! :-)
Why are the squirrels where you live so much cuter than the ones here? It is adorable.
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