I had to stabilize my heart. That might have lost me a couple days. But now, it doesn’t matter if it is Monday or Thursday. All that matters is that I made it: I’m here and awake. I can’t keep up with time, just what is needed to survive.
For me, being awake is the greatest success. It means I have overcome and balanced what no longer seems able to be balanced. Yet, here I am! I wish others understood that.
I used to worry, but you'll be okay. Survival is part art and part naked brutality: the belief that you will return, and the will to do what is needed to give the best chance of that to happen.
I am at peace sometimes, but I keep getting vomited up.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
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10 comments:
All that matters is that you did make it. You are here and I am grateful and thankful for that!
Despite being vomited up, wrung out, hung out by VIHA, you still seem to be able to appreciate life, love life, and just plain LOVE, more than most of us.
I guess that's what makes you so special, and why we love you.
Love and zen hugs,
Neil
You are still here, NDY, and I for one am grateful. Well done my friend! Hoping for some special moments for you, of love and pleasure and just appreciating
We got your postcard today... so incredible that you can tangibly reach out and touch us still, thank you so much.
Grateful for the moments of peace that you can find... staggered by your will to live.
Loving you as always...
Lorna, Bob and Liam
so glad you are here
Thanks, it is a rainy day after several rainy days - I hope for the sun as rain is not something I can go wheeling in. BLAH!
I'm glad you made it. I have a lot of difficulty imagining the world without you.
As the Hitchhiker's Guide says, time is irrelevant; as long as you're conscious, not in pain, and functional, we're happy.
Sorry Neil it generally is: not often, always and getting worst, and less and less weekly.
*hugs* Hope you are doing a bit better now.
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